Everything was perfect. Six-year-old me examined the placement of my dolls and stuffed animals.  Soon, the living room would become a stage. Not only was I the director of this theatrical masterpiece, I was also the leading lady. My audience would be quite small (meaning it would consist of my father, mother, and little brother), but even so an excitement bubbled in my heart.

Before I could make the final adjustments to my props, I was forced to hop in the car with my family for a quick trip to the retirement home. Minutes later, I sat across from my grandparents munching on saltine crackers. In the midst of the quiet conversation,  I heard my dad mention my name.

“Why don’t you all come over after lunch and watch Ashley’s play??”

Before I knew it, the eyes of my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents were directed towards me as I stood speechless in the living room. I was not prepared for such a crowd! All the excitement I felt just hours before was overshadowed by a petrifying fear. I couldn’t muster up the courage to utter my first line. After a painfully long period of silence, my family members stood up, opened the front door, and went home. Meanwhile, I was left to wonder what could’ve been.

Maybe that living-room performance would have launched my acting career. Perhaps I’d be on Broadway right now rather than sitting in my bedroom in my pajamas. Whatever the case, I have learned that I don’t want to live life thinking about the could’ve beens.

So, after several months of making excuses and struggling to muster up the courage to write my first sentence, I decided to start a blog. The goal of this blog is not to impose upon you my vast amount of knowledge and experience from my almost eighteen years of life (insert studio audience laughter).  Rather, I’d like to invite you into the mind of a girl embarking on this adventure called adulthood. Along the way, let’s laugh together at how clueless I am.

Is there a dream or idea you have buried deep inside your heart for far too long?  If you’re like me, you may overthink and analyze the life out of potentially amazing ideas. Join me in trying something new. You know that homeless woman you see on your way to work every day and simply can’t get out of your head? Stop and give her a word of encouragement. What about that guitar that’s been sitting in your closet for six months? Give it a strum. Maybe it will be a bit awkward or even difficult.

But you won’t be left wondering about what could’ve been.
~ash

What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly? Erin Hanson
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7