I think I should delete my personal Instagram. It’s distracting, encourages my desire to project an image, steals my focus from experiences, and furthers my tendency to feel like I have to be friends with people I don’t really know.

In August of this year, I wrote these words in my journal. At the time, I was wrestling with the question of whether or not the positive impact of social media outweighed the negative implications on my life.

I was wrestling with the question of whether or not the positive impact of social media outweighed the negative implications on my life.

I’m a big fan of Instagram. I love crafting witty or thoughtful captions, keeping up with friends, and posting pictures that are meaningful to me.

I created my Instagram account in 2014. For six years, I used the app to stay connected to friends and family around the world. I loved commenting “Congratulations!” (followed by about 5 colorful emojis) when I found out that someone I cared about was graduating or getting married.

Yet in college, something shifted in my relationship with my favorite app. I opened Instagram almost every time I turned on my phone- riding in the car, watching a movie with family, or waiting for the start of class. After a break-up, I found myself posting especially frequently, welcoming the distraction of the little notifications telling me that people “liked” my photo.

Suddenly, I realized that I didn’t just know when a loved one was getting married. I knew the relationship status of hundreds of people- many of whom I had never actually spoken to in real life.

I felt that this social world was taking up far more mental space than was healthy.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who has experienced this. In 2017, the #StatusOftheMind survey found that Instagram had the worst impact on young adults’ mental health of any social media platform.

Dr. Cindy Walker earned her doctorates degree in clinical psychology, worked for twenty years in the field, and has lots to say on the topic of social media. In my recent interview with her, she discussed the ways she has seen technology and social media impact the mental health of her patients and students.

“Years ago, people came into therapy with better coping skills,” says Dr. Walker. “Now, people don’t know how to engage in conflict.”

She shares that this largely has to do with the social isolation a growing number of people are experiencing. Husbands and wives often sit next to one another without engaging in meaningful conversation, and Dr. Walker says this is a contributing factor to many struggles within marriages today.

“I’ve seen many affairs initiated through social media.” This is largely due to the lack of emotional intimacy between couples. Developing a relationship over social media has a “fantasy flair” and provides a sense of “pseudointimacy and pseudoconnection,” explains Dr. Walker.

Another struggle for many social media users is the tendency to compare their lives to the re-touched lives of those they follow. 

A study conducted at York University reported that “actively engaging with attractive peers’ social media causes worsened body image in young adult women.”

“I think if we stopped posting the ideal self, we’d experience more genuine intimacy,” says Dr. Walker.

I contemplated the various facets, both positive and negative, surrounding my favorite app, and finally gained clarity on what I was going to do.

Shortly after writing in my journal that August afternoon, I disabled my Instagram. A few weeks after that, I completely deleted my Instagram account.

Six years’ worth of posts and stories disappeared into digital oblivion. Perhaps this language is a bit dramatic, but the moment I pressed “delete account” I felt as though my life was about to change forever.

Spoiler warning: It didn’t.

The moment I pressed “delete account” I felt as though my life was about to change forever. Spoiler warning: it didn’t.

Instagram wasn’t the problem.  My interaction with it was. I needed to reclaim control over social media.

A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that limiting social media to about 30 minutes a day may lead to decreased loneliness, depression, anxiety and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).

However, Dr. Walker shared that social media, while likely a contributing factor to mental illness, it can actually benefit individuals who are experiencing isolation and anxiety.

Through mediums such as online support groups, loneliness can be alleviated and might actually lead to more face-to-face connections.

Like money, social media is amoral– neither good nor evil. It can be used to build up businesses and enhance relationships. But, it can also be used as a distraction from processing emotions or to project an image that makes us feel like we’re in control.

It takes intentionality to use social media in a positive way.

We can follow people who leave us feeling anxious. Or, we can click that handy “unfollow” button. We can check the apps multiple times while we’re at dinner with family, or we can ask them to hold us accountable- reminding us to put our phones away at the table.

As we are frequently interrupted by the dings of our devices, our attention becomes more fragmented. “Research shows that multitasking is ineffective,” says Dr. Walker. She encourages students to slowly increase the time they spend away from their cell phones, using them as rewards.

For example, rather than studying while watching Netflix and scrolling Facebook, she recommends spending an hour of focused time working. After this time, we can then reward ourselves by checking our phones. 

When we blame social media for all of our problems, we’re giving it far too much authority over our lives.

We have the power to set boundaries, disable notifications, delete, and unfollow.

I might create a personal Instagram account again one day. I’m not sure. What I do know is that I will not allow myself to do so before laying out clear standards for what my purpose is behind my account and the content I post.

There will always be something in my life that will serve as a distraction from what I value most. Recently it was Instagram. 20 years from now it may be my ability to place Amazon Prime orders with my mind.

This experience taught me that improving mental health, relationships, and quality of life doesn’t happen with the click of a delete button. A joyful life is not found in the presence or absence of a tool.

If we’re looking for connection, we need to build our friendships intentionally. If we’re trying to distract ourselves from a painful reality, we won’t find healing if we don’t address it.

If we want to be more present in the everyday moments, we have to fight against the current of our overstimulated society. 

Mindlessly scrolling will not bring growth or health.

In the words of Tim Cooper, “You will never passively find what you do not actively pursue.” 

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